On Being a Rhinoceros

The secret to success is, naturally, becoming a rhinoceros.

The first order of your day as a rhino is to charge!


Wait! What’s that smell? Your great body grows tense, ready to spring into action. You slowly turn your massive head toward the direction of the scent. Your eyes watch for any sign of a real opportunity. Your ears pick up a rustling in the bushes! An unfamiliar scent drifts by your nostrils! You are ready to explode! Is it a opportunity or a torpedo? Your eyes stare unblinking, straight ahead. Your head is spinning with excitement and your leg muscles twitch with energy.

Suddenly, you see it! An opportunity! It sees you and like a shot, you are both off through the jungle. Three tons of snorting rhinoceros charging full speed at your opportunity, mowing down all obstacles in your way. Trees and vegetation poke at your skin, but you don’t even feel it. Your opportunity is in sight now and you are gaining on it.

The chase is long and hard. You start to tire. Is it getting away from you? You scream: “I am a rhinoceros!” Your second wind comes and your rhinoceros eyes turn fiery red as the breath from your nostrils turns to steam against the cool morning, jungle air.

Then all of a sudden, you’ve got it! Your opportunity tired and you have run it down. You make the kill and then rest a moment; your great lungs heaving, your legs ready to collapse, your skin torn, bruised and bloodied and you bask in the thrill of your victory.

Scott Alexandar – Rhinoceros Success

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